I find myself constantly asking the cosmos to explain things to me. Perhaps I’m too stupid to understand the phenomenon that is celebrity – perhaps it actually exists on a higher plane than I am on, and therefore I can only express my understanding of it with utter and undying contempt. Maybe I’m actually insane, while thousands of sheep scream their heads off on city streets if they happen to catch sight of Britney Spears driving a diamond encrusted Escalade down Broadway, wearing no shoes, Daisy Dukes and no thong, a blue bra (because we can see it, Britney spent all her money on the truck and can’t afford a bigger shirt) while smoking twelve cigarettes, drinking Ketel One from little nip bottles whilst threatening to throw her baby at the paparazzi if they don’t leave her and PapaZao (he so cool I want to take a crap in his mouth and slap his momma) alone, screaming, ” you’re endangering my child!”
But, honestly, I think that it’s the great masses of (dare I call them) human beings that are ca-razy. I’m perfectly sane and screaming to the voices in my head to kill 3 people, just THREE people!
Why is this news? Or this? Or this, for Christ’s sake?
By the way, on any given day, you can go here for proof that there is no God.
I, and many, many folks I know, have way too much already to be angry about on this round dirtball we call home. We honestly don’t need any more help. Thanks, we’re full.
Finally, I just need to say that there is one bit of entertainment that I am DYING to see. It’s a TV series type with infinite possibilities and subjects, and could spawn a whole new genre of entertainment. It would be great to actually have a reality TV show. Because what they call reality now is complete shit. I can’t come up with any flowery, clever language that expresses it better.
Here’s the proof: reality TV doesn’t need commentary, confessionals or reunion shows. And as soon as someone from a show is walking the red carpet, it’s no longer reality TV.
So suck my balls.