As previously stated, I’m a video game fan. Want to play a lot more than I get to – need to play a lot less than I do (according to the wife.) It’s a Catch-22.

What a lot of people wonder is how grown men (and women, yes you know who you are) can still play these games, can still spend lots of money on these things, can take precious time away from other important activities like golf and television watching and eating ice cream to work your brain into a frenzy by playing incredibly addictive, pulse-pounding fun! Yeah, makes perfect sense to me, too.

Truth is, playing games as an adult is great. It’s a very social thing at that age. And not social in that teenage-giggling-at-the-man-that-just-fell-down way. I mean social in the fully grown men-giggling-at-the-man-that-just-fell-down way. There’s a difference. Seriously, games are something like a $30B industry. Thousands of grown men and women work at these comapnies creating this entertainment. And, like the movies, 95% of it sucks. And the vast majority of people that participate in that sucky content, like the movies, are morons… err, kids. Same diff.

So I love when an adult calls a kid out on something in a public forum. Take 3DRealms co-founder George Broussard, who recently announced on his company forums that the Xbox360 demo of the game “PREY” would be delayed due to testing at Microsoft. This was met with the usual backlash from the children out there that like to gripe at any adult when they are told that they’ve had enough ice cream for today, and it’s time to go to bed.

So the best part about it is the first reply to this announcement, by a moron… err, kid by the name of ‘FerretWave333.’ He states, and I quote, “I hate Microsoft and their gay testin department.” Not only is this full of wit and rife with… I can’t do it. I need a reload on my sarcasm gun. This kid’s a moron. Testing, Einstein.

But I don’t need sarcasm, because I’ve got George Broussard. And he brings it.

Anyone who has even touched a game in the last 5 years, walked by an arcade on the boardwalk or, hell, been to a mall, ever, will understand how misguided, moronic youths (did you just say yout?) like FerretFucker5000 come to be born. You see, a mommy and a daddy who have way too much disposable income and not enough time invested in “parenting” slip and fall during a martini-induced party and accidentally procreate.

Tada!

Seriously, that’s not really the reason why I started to write this entry. I mean, it seems that every entry I write is just me complaining about someth… wait a sec, it’s me! I forget I’m crotchety, sometimes.

There’s this incredible game about to hit the market called ‘Gears of War.’ I know, catchy Anyway, this is what the thing looks like:

This is not a piece of CGI… this is IN-GAME. This is real-time, on the fly graphics.

And this is why I dig this stuff. Images like these pumping out of a console on the fly – this is 5% stuff. Top drawer. This is ‘Lord of the Rings’ good. ‘Chinatown’ good. ‘Godfather’ good. This is art. True art, in a different form.

Plus, there’s a chainsaw attached to the bottom of your machinegun! Fuckin’ A!