So I’m sitting here for several hours working on a project I no longer care about for a guy that I don’t really like (don’t think I ever did) and it hits me.
What the FUCK?
So I put myself on autopilot and crank the shit out, hoping to just finish and be done with it. This is not what I want to do with my life. This is not what I plan to do with my life. I’ve got Frou Frou’s “Let Go” on loop. It’s from the movie Garden State. Once again, go buy it right now. It’s brilliant. It’s one of those movies that makes me crazy when I watch it, truly moves me to say:
What the FUCK!
Every once in a while, a general malaise, a soft listlessness falls over me, and I wonder just what the hell I’m doing. I feel stuck, trapped, unable to move past my own accomplishments. Or perhaps unable to move over my failings. Who knows. Point is, it’s sentimental crap and I hate it. But the only way truly to beat it is to work, I’ve found. No pity, no breakdown, just work.
I write. I don’t write nearly enough, but I do write. I’m currently in the middle of two shorts (almost complete, going to shoot them as part of a feature next year) 2 features (I get started and distracted,) 2 more shorts (complete, ready to go,) 3 short stories (almost there,) and a novel. The novel is my favorite thing right now, a very Vonneguttian romp through whatever the fuck comes to my mind at any given time. I love it, and I enjoy writing it. But I don’t write it enough.
Shit gets in the way. I love video games. I love going to the movies (currently not so in love with watching movies at home, though.) I love hanging out with friends (even though most of them suck because they move away.) I love parentheses.
But mostly I have work to do. Like this piece of shit project.
(So make me feel like time marches forward, things change and people truly care. Comment.)
Yeap, WHAT THE FUCK is right. In fact it is on every design freelancer/studio owner’s tongue than any other phrase… I am planning to open up my own studio soon (like I wasn’t opened enough!) and I think this would be the most appropriate symbolistic name I could ever find. WHAT THE FUCK STUDIO. Thanks Petro!
Well, think about it: if you wouldn’t have a piece of shit project to do you couldn’t enjoy watching movies on your big ass screen in the house you almost owe… Yeah, it could be worse. Like working 24/7 is not bad enough.
In any event, I think you need a period. Right after currently not, inside the parantheses you so love.
You know I love you. And I do think that you are greater in person. I am wondering if the Internet will die for a couple of days would we be finally tempted to CONNECT more as human beings?
Forget it, I am talking out of my ass some sentimental crap, I can’t believe I am letting myself sound like an 18th Century chick while writing to the TECHY!
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D
I hear you. Also: you are retarded.
The answer to everything can be found poolside, margarita in hand, sun on face. Then you don’t have to see celebrities. You can be one.
And remember: “It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.”
Someday I’ll have an Xbox, and you can beat my ass in Basketball at any time you want.